Happy Thanksgiving, With Love...

A Simple Thought on Thanksgiving

Last year, in a moment of sentimentality, you bought a Thanksgiving card to send to the mommles' sister, who lives in South Carolina. She is one of your favorite people, and one of the only relatives you can stand, or whom you keep any contact with. Last years, you sent a card with a little poem and this year, you bought another card and were getting ready to send it.

You came downstairs after changing to find the card on the dining room table, signed already, with a poem from the mommles. You found that... hurtful. You didn't want to write your own poem after that, you felt that it would seem like you were trying to upstage her or something. You were so hurt...

You decided to change your outlook, though, and find something meaningful to write. You looked up Thanksgiving poems from some of your favorite authors, and you found something that touched you. You included it in your note, and you thought you'd share, for anyone else in need of something short and sweet, whether it is for a card or a prayer for dinner or whatever... Enjoy.

Thanksgiving
by Ralph Waldo Emerson

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

Feeling Icky on the Inside

You've had... an odd day. The beginning was bad, then you were just rushing-rushing-rushing, then you had fun, and now you're just... morose? Depressed? Stupid? Who the fuck knows.

This morning, you had an argument with the mommles. Who the fuck knows about what. You had a knife in your hand because you were making breakfast, and she yelled, and you made a stabbing motion in the air (thinks beating a pillow, but you're stabbing the air) and... well, you stabbed the microwave instead. You broke the clear plastic door.

Now you've got to replace your microwave. On your own dime. Uggh.

After that, rush to class. After that, rush to Wegmans. After that, rush home (you clocked yourself going 85 on the not-quite-a-highway) to find the Mistress of Fondue waiting outside for you. You threw the ice cream in the freezer and changed your clothes in 30 seconds and then rushed outside to get in the car.

You had a lovely dinner and then raced to the arena to see Star Wars In Concert. That was, perhaps, the only bright spot of your day (other than your yummy dinner.) The show was... better than good, great, awesome, or even stupendous. It was phenomenal. You wished it would never end. It was that amazing!

And then the trek home began, and soon you were home. And after catching up on some DVR'd goodness, you ended up on your laptop, and after ordering some Christmas presents for the mommles, you started to clean out your email inbox... And that's where you found some forwarded texts you sent to yourself from Bi Babe about her neighbor. You can't remember why you sent them, but they got you thinking about him...

He frustrates you so much. Sexually, emotionally... You just wish, for once, you could meet a real man, who acts like a man, and is confident in himself and his sexuality and his tastes... You are so hurt and disappointed and angry... and all you thought you were getting from this guy was a quick roll in the sack. You feel... slightly insane.

You just have to keep looking forward because things can only get better from here... and then after Thanksgiving, everything can go back to shit! (Uggh, you jest... and yet you don't...)

Thoughts on a Douchebag

So you've been ruminating on Bi Babe's asshole neighbor all day. You're trying to make sense of some things, and... well, nothing seems to be making sense. But you've gotten some more information, and you have some things you didn't say last night because you were tired and upset, so... Here we go.

Things you found out last night:
-he is 23
-he lives with his parents
-Bi Babe once saw him pay for something in quarters. Not like a dollar menu thing.

And today, you found out he doesn't have a license. His "mommy" drives him places, according to Bi Babe.

Uggh. Why? Why do you pick such winners?! You should have been clued in from the beginning: he has the same name as the Art Student.

You are so upset about this whole situation. Last night, after you published your blog post, you sent him one more text, to the effect of "You were more interested in the girls going at it than you were in me, huh?"

You got no response... and you seriously doubt you'll hear from him by Monday like he said. And if he does text you... you don't know what you'll do. You have about a dozen girlfriends who have some ideas about what to do, though, and it generally involves sharp instruments and torchs and pitchforks...

Fools Never Prosper

Well, Operation Bag A Boy was another failure. You got a call from Bi Babe on your way out of class today and she said she thought that the boy you were supposed to meet might try to flake. You took the initiative: you texted him. Normally, you'd never take the time to dig up whole text convos, but tonight you will make an exception because you're trying to make sense of the stupidity that you were forced to participate in this evening...

You: Hey, are you still coming to [Bi Babe]'s house tonite?
Him: I got work til twelve but i should be able to come after
You: Cool. :~)

So at 12:15, you text him. You've waited all night. Bi Babe has been making nookie with her girlfriend all night, and you're looking to... hell, you wanna get some, too. And so, you text him:

(Please note: this conversation gets very graphic, so if you are uncomfortable with graphic, sexual discussions, this may not be the best thing to read. Consider... skimming?)
You: So how was work? Not too tired I hope..?
Him: Still there, bad night, i don't know if tonight is gonna happen man
You: Well I'm gonna be here a while. So whenever.
You: It is very awkward watching girls fuck around and have nothing to occupy myself with.
Him: what are they doing?
You: What aren't they doing?
Him: Naked?
You: Halfway there.
Him: Take pics for and send em so i can see em before i get there?
You: I just got slapped. You better cum see for yourself. [Bi Babe] says to hurry the fuck up and get here.
Him: whats gonna happen when i do
You: i thought i was getting your fat cock wherever i wanted
Him: Just your mouth the first time we chill lol, and nothing else
You: O rly?
Him: Yea is that ok?
You: We'll see
Him: ?
You: You never know could happen... I can be very convincing.
Him: honestly, i just Wana get naked, get my cocked sucked and thats it
You: Is this gonna be a one time blow&go? I just wanna know before shit goes down.
Him: Honestly, probably
You: Fine.
You: Its kinda fucked to txt one thing and do another
Him: Ok
Him: Im sorry, im still new with the guy stuff not totally comfortable
You: You'll learn rly quick a hole is a hole. Whatever. Get here whenever, I've spent all week thinking about your dick.
You: And getting mmmooooorrreee awk...
You: You gonna come over after wrk?
Him: Probably, i should shower first
You: Whatever you wanna do.
You: What time do you think you're getting out? Txt when you get out.
Him: Should be really soon? Whats [Bi Babe] doing
You: [Bi Babe's girlf] is moaning so I assume [Bi Babe] is fingering her.
Him: Not in the same room?
You: I was I went to pee.
Him: Oh
You: They're giggling.
[after a really long time]
You: Shit where do you work that you're there this late?
Him: Movie theater, a lot of movies came out today
You: Uggh
Him: Lets just reschedule im gonna be too beat man
You: For when?
You: It's a blowjob we're not talking four hours of fucking here.
Him: I had a horrible day and im exhasuted man, im sorry
You: Fine tell me when
Him: Maybe wednesday or next friday
You: Can't do Fri. What time Wed?
Him: I'll let you know by like monday
You: Fine.
You: Listen, r u having 2nd thoughts? I'm not trying to pressure u but I just wan2 know what you're thinking. I mean, I want 2 blo you. If ur rethinking just tell me.

There was no response after that. You're really angry... You didn't go to Bi Babe's this evening with your U-Haul ready to move in with this guy. You weren't sure what to expect, beyond what he had said last Saturday, which was basically that he was up for anything you wanted. And so, first of all, you fell cheated because there are plenty of people out there that you could just perform oral sex on, that's what Craigslist is about. But you thought you were getting something out of this arrangement, too, and you feel misled.

Also, you stayed at Bi Babe's till two thirty in the morning, sitting there with your phone in your lap waiting for this guy to say he was coming over. You could have gone home hours earlier: Bi Babe and her girlf could have used the privacy. As it was, you got to suffer through over an hour of girl-on-girl sex. And for nothing.

And on top of all this, you're sexually frustrated and you feel led on. Fuckfuckfuck. Stupid men...

After Halloween, you'd think you'd have learned this guy was unreliable. (Shame on him.) Tonight, shame on you for believing this shit... You can't wait for Monday to give him the "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." speech...

Thanksgiving Diva, Christmas Diva, Same Thing

Well, you are definitely a confirmed Christmas diva, but wrapped in amongst the holly and garland and red and green and jungle bells, there is a Thanksgiving diva. Your Thanksgiving diva is nowhere near as... psychotic?... as your Christmas diva, but, well, as soon as Halloween is over, a little part of yourself dons an apron and puts on a garland made of autumn leaves and dried berries and starts mentally mashing mounds of fluffy spuds...

And so, you are in Thanksgiving mode. And Christmas mode. Simultaneously. It can be a little confusing. But you're excited for both holidays, and you're trying to make it work.

Tomorrow you'll be shopping for non-perishables for Thanksgiving dinner. You are definitely excited because lately you've been shopping almost exclusively at Wegmans, and their, well, everything is generally better than your local grocery store. You're having a small panic attack, however, because there are two menus you have planned which center around two different fake meat roasts. If you get the one, the menu will be slightly less complicated, but the chance you'll be able said product isn't very high. So you have two menus to write and plan for... and it's getting you a little antsy.

But really, overall, you just want this to be the smoothest Thanksgiving because, well, if you can't have a stressless Thanksgiving when there are only two diners, then there is something very very fucked up...

So Much STILL To Look Forward To

Well, you were thinking about it, and you're really excited. Again. You really do have quite a bit to look forward to in the coming weeks, and you feel almost guilty that you're so lucky...

Friday you get to have brunch with Mama Bird and then in the evening you'll be hanging out with Bi Babe, her friend/hook-up who you just want to shove in your pocket and take home, and her hottie neighbor who you'll probably regret in the morning... but oh, well, shit happens.

The next Friday you get to go see Star Wars In Concert with the Mistress of Fondue, which seriously freaks you out because you are so fucking excited you can hardly contain yourself.

The next day, your lovah Little Miss Lush will be home and you're planning an awesome day at your favorite craft fair and then a football game at your university.

And of course, the following Thursday is Thanksgiving, when you'll be making your traditional vegetarian spread.

Then you'll be working 5am Black Friday, and you took off Saturday to put up Christmas decorations and see your girlfriends...

So, yeah, you're really excited for the next couple of weeks.

You just have to pretend like you don't have homework during that time...